we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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