so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
