Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
