As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
