your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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