next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
