either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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