what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
