he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
