I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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