About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
