is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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