Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
