haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize