yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I deserve this hangover.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize