we have officially lost it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
