the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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