I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
