I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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