I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize