i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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