im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
