I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
