If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
