omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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