I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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