The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
