Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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