he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
