Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
