how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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