I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
