nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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