My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
