I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There's always time for handjobs
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
you never un-have a 4some
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
