This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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