your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
