try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
