im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Randomize
