the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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