Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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