Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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