he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize