READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
