The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
