next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
