i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize