He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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