You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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