I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
