...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm gonna have a badass scar
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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