so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
