the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
pray to the hookup gods
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
