I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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