I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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