i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
