we're blogging at a bar
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
ok first of all what the fuck
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
