my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
