Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
