Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
