took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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