"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
